I’ll be turning 40 in December, so naturally I’m in a place of reflection. It’s so interesting when you look back over your life and take note of the ways that you may have changed (or in some cases, stayed the same). One big thing that stands out for me, especially now, is how much more feminine I am. I was a tomboy growing up (and in a lot of ways I still am, lol), but once I got to high school, and even moreso in my twenties, I became a lot more feminine with the way that I dressed and moved as a woman.

I’ve always loved makeup, but when it came to clothes, it took me awhile to move away from stealing my brother’s polos shirts to wear with fitted jeans, and only wearing a black pencil skirt and white blouse when I needed to “dress up”. Although I grew up with a mother that was very feminine in the way that she dressed (it was the 80s + 90s so she was very much giving us Claire Huxtable vibes), I rebelled against it for some reason.

I have a vivid memory of being in the 6th or 7th grade and having a blow up fight with my mom in Dillard’s because she was picking out clothes for me as we shopped and I was peeved at all of her choices. “Stop trying to make me into you!” is what I yelled when she held up some floral print shirt or dress, and cut to us driving home with her telling me she’d let my father just handle it (which was hilarious thinking back, because my dad let me wear whatever I wanted and didn’t see the point of fighting with me about clothes, lol). I made a LOT of fashion faux pas as I developed my style, and thank goodness there are no photos because your girl was looking a fool, lol. Fast forward to now and there are so many floral dresses in my closet it’s a shame, lol. I had coffee with my friend Carmeon a few Saturdays ago and she commented on my outfit because I was wearing jeans-I typically wear dresses 99% of the time in the Summer (even on client shoot days), so when I switch up my wardrobe for the season, it can be a bit of a shock to those that see me all the time. What a difference growth makes. Ha!

I’ve always had a strong personality as well (exhibit A, the story above), but as I’ve learned to embrace my femininity with my clothes, I’ve also learned to do the same with my personality as well. I’ve learned to be softer in how I approach different situations, and also how I treat myself. What does this mean? I learned to be more compassionate, empathetic and nurturing across the board. To be more sensual, and to embrace life’s delicate moments and little luxuries. As I grew into my femininity, I learned to pamper myself, and to also let others take the lead and pamper me as well. I learned to trust my emotional reactions to things (and be ok with expressing how I feel. Owning your emotions and how you feel is so powerful and helps you process things so much easier).

photos: Xclusive Moments

I will always speak up for myself (and I can cut you down to your knees with a simple stare), but my biggest lesson in femininity has been accepting that I don’t have to be hard/strong all the time. Making peace with and embracing my feminine energy over the years has truly helped me find myself as a woman overall.

What does femininity mean to you?

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