I’ve never understood the saying “no new friends”, or women who purposely didn’t have any female friendships. While my circles have evolved naturally over the years, I’ve been blessed to have great female friendships all of my life. As someone that doesn’t have sisters (I’m the baby sister of 2 older brothers), I always longed to have a sister, even at a really young age. It never happened, however, so in its place, I worked to create bonds with other women that I shared interests with. Some friendships took a little more work when I was younger (I can remember transferring to a new school in the 3rd grade and literally only having ONE friend because I left my best friend behind when we moved, and the “popular” girls in my grade weren’t very friendly to the new girl. It eventually changed, but I digress.), but it never made me shy away from making friends. It just taught me that it won’t always be easy, but those friendships that you make will worth it.
As an adult, I have a new level of discernment ( I can tell when people want to genuinely be friends with me, or they’re being opportunistic and want access to my network since I’m a blogger and photographer), but I am thankful that I never lost the desire to have great girlfriends. Why?
Because women are phenomenal.
i have many great girlfriends, but this sister circle is one in a million, lol. I appreciate you Quita, Q, Carmeon and Samilia!
No one can support you, make you laugh, cry with you, or boost you up like your girlfriends can. Yes, family and spouses/mates can do those things in some capacity, but there’s seriously nothing like having the love and support of a chosen sister (or 3). You don’t have to be exactly the same, nor do you always have to get along (hello, we’re all human), but to be able to connect with someone and build a solid friendship is a blessing that should never be taken for granted.
taking full advantage of the amazing lighting in the ladies room of Sinema Nashville.
If you’ve been closed off or struggling to make friends as an adult but are ready to change that, my advice to you would be to open your heart and drop the ego. Just like in a romantic relationship, you have to be ok with being vulnerable if you want things to go beyond the surface level and pleasantries. If you have energy that’s standoffish, even if you have the best intentions, it will block good energy (and friendships) from flowing to you.
photoshoot fresh in RH Cafe Nashville.
Talk to the women that have similar interests to you and make plans to have coffee or hang out, and REPEAT. Not every attempt will be deeply soulful or even work out, but honestly that’s ok. The point is to put in the effort to make the connection, and then make sure you continue to do your part to nurture that friendship if it starts to develop deeper. You can’t be a one-sided person: you HAVE to put in effort as well if you want to get the most out of your connections. It can’t always be someone reaching out to you to do things or checking on you.
Not all of your friendships will be the same, but if you really work at nurturing your friendships, you will at least meet women that will show up for you as you show up for them and slowly create your tribe. And that, my friends, is the secret sauce to having great girlfriends.